After stopping my birth control in December Jim, my spouse, and I decided to use other forms of protection until we were on the same page about having children. At first he felt he was not ready for children. We had also just went through a house fire and weren’t living in our home for almost a year. This is our story on trying to become pregnant.
Trying
We continued to use other forms of protection for around 4 months. In April we started trying to get pregnant as we decided that we were ready to have a family. I used an app that tracked periods, symptoms, and gave you a predicted window for chances to get pregnant and a predicted ovulation date. My period was almost a week late in May so I took a pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant. The test was negative and then later that same day I got my period.
This was hard because I was excited and hopeful about a missed/late period because I thought and hoped I was pregnant but instead it became a disappointment. We continued to try to conceive in May and June but had no such luck of successfully conceiving.
I think as a women in your 30s you feel like your clock is ticking. Maybe you don’t want to be an old parent, or are worried about having a geriatric pregnancy (35 and older) which can increase pregnancy risks, or you’re worried that you won’t be able to get pregnant at all. Whatever your reason may be for feeling this way, I get it. I was there at that moment in June.
I made a doctors appointment in to find out what I could do to help us conceive and ask about fertility testing. My doctor gave me the following advice for using ovulation prediction kits and timing intercourse to increase chances of conceiving (this may different than what your doctor suggests for you):
- Purchase test strips that look like small thin strips, a little bigger than a matchstick (rather than the type that look like a pregnancy test). These are much cheaper and just as accurate.
– When you are ready to stop using birth control, start taking a prenatal vitamin daily. - When you are ready to stop using birth control, start testing your urine once daily in the morning with the ovulation test strips.
–You will see the double line on the day before you ovulate. Google “ovulation test strips” for examples of what this will look like.
–When you see the double line, have sex that day, the following day, and the day after that.
–Another strategy is to have sex every other day, if you are not sure when you are ovulating. Start on Day 10 of your cycle (with Day 1 being the first day of your period), and continue to Day 25.
–Having sex less frequently can reduce your chances of conceiving. Having sex more frequently can decrease the quality and count of sperm in the semen.
After the doctors appointment I went and bought prenatal vitamins. We decided to try to having sex every other day on day 10 through 25 and see if we could conceive in July.
Shortly after my doctors appointment I started getting these excruciating headaches whenever I was climaxing and during orgasms. They would last for quite some time after we finished having sex, I would always take a nap after because it was so bad. When we did not conceive in July I felt defeated once again and thought that I may not be able conceive at all.
So I once again decided to go see my doctor to talk about these headaches along with lethargy, lightheadedness, and dizziness, also swollen ankles for the second time in a month (just a hot mess). Around the same time I ordered an ovulation and pregnancy test strip combo kit to help track my ovulation and hopefully conceive.
They couldn’t get me in right away so in the mean time I decided to try massage. I wanted to see if the stress of putting my house back together after the fire and sleeping on someone else’s bed could be the cause of these headaches.
Ovulation Test Strips
After buying the combo pack by Easy@Home Ovulation and Pregnancy Test Strips Kit, I started to track my ovulation right after my period ended in July.
I would pee into a cup (red solo cup) and then dip the test strip in the fresh urine. If I took a pregnancy test I did the same thing. I felt using a cup was the easiest for me but you can also pee right on the strip. It was definitely a learning experience for me. There was a lot of trial and error, along with peeing on my hand.
It is best to check your ovulation two to three times a day after you menstruate. I definitely struggled to remember to do it multiple times a day but I did my best.
The great thing about the kit that I purchased was that it came with a free app where you could track periods, symptoms, weight, if you had protected/unprotected sex, ovulation, etc. Another awesome thing about the app was that you could take a picture of your ovulation test strip and it would tell you your LH ratio.
You can also tell if you are ovulating if you have changes in:
-your vaginal secretions; right before ovulation secretions increase to stretchy and clear. After ovulation it will decrease and be thick, cloudy and less noticeable.
-your basal body temperature; at rest and during your ovulation your basal body temperature will rise. Using a thermometer specifically to measure basal body temperature take it everyday before getting out of bed and look for patterns. The 2-3 days before it rises you will be most fertile.
What is LH ratio?
LH ratio is short for Luteinizing Hormone ratio. This tells you where your ovulation is at; low, high, or at your peak. You ovulate after your peak LH ratio. You want your LH ratio to be at least between .8-1.0 or when the test line is darker than the control line.
Pregnancy Testing
So I started using the kit in July after my menstrual cycle was over. I tested my pee for my ovulation levels for 13 days before I hit my peak. I then continued to test for 5 days after my peak. About 36 hours after you peak or have a positive ovulation strip you will ovulate.
When I got the ovulation and pregnancy combo kit in July I started using it right away. Tracking sex, ovulation (LH ratio), moods, symptoms, periods, discharge, etc. In that month I logged sex 10 times, 6 of them during or after my ovulation. Going into August I had high hopes about having a positive pregnancy test because we had sex. Not too much and not too little sex! We used the ovulation kit and had sex multiple times around my ovulation.
In August I got excited and decided to test 4 days into the month. It was negative but it was still early. So I tested three days later as my period was two days late when compared to the previous month. Which signaled to me that I could be pregnant. On the second day of my missed period I took a hCG (pregnancy test). The 5 minute wait seemed to take forever. Once I saw the results I was crushed as it was negative. I started feeling like maybe getting pregnant wasn’t in the cards for me. I knew that I needed to talk to Jim and just discuss our options.
It was a hard conversation to have because I was upset that we were not pregnant again and that we wouldn’t be able or that I was getting too old. He consoled me but reminded me that we hadn’t been trying for very long and that I should try not to worry. (Easier said than done). In the end we agreed to keep trying to get pregnant.
In August I tracked my ovulation again after my period along with all the other things. Again we had sex 10 times that month and 6 of the times were during or after ovulation. It was very similar to the previous months information.
Going into September, the school year was starting and I had a harder time keeping track of my LH. This time I took a pregnancy test 3 days into the month and it was negative. I again waited 3 days before I took another pregnancy test. This time the pregnancy test looked to have a light line. I was unsure and it was hard to tell if it was positive or not. I went onto my kit app and sent a picture of the pregnancy test and asked the question to the forum if they thought it was a positive test, if I should test again or wishful thinking. Most if not all answered that they thought I was pregnant.
I decided to test again a few days later just to be sure. This time the line was a little darker. I didn’t want to keep my hopes up and have a faulty test so I waited another two days. Two days later I decided to take two different pregnancy tests. This time the strip was much darker and the other test was also positive.
The tests and the wait were over (for now) we were going to have our first baby!
**To those who have not been able to or cannot conceive, I am so sorry! I cannot imagine what you are going through and wish you the best. I know how stressful and hard it was when I thought we wouldn’t be able to conceive but I cannot completely understand what you’re going through. If you haven’t done so already, seek help and information from your health care provider.
